Week 37: Mission Blues

My beloved family, friends, and fellow servants,

I’m glad I have chance to e-mail you again. I think everything is going just good enough here. I am currently writing this e-mail in an internet shop with a temperature of 100 degrees celcius—only because my cheapskate companion prefers using a cheap internet service than my suggestion of e-mailing in SM. I can’t think straight in a hot environment. That’s just against my nature. It doesn’t work for me scientifically. We’ve been here for 4 Mondays now and maybe for more Mondays, unless he gets transferred next week!
I entitled this weekly letter “Mission Blues” because lately I’ve been feeling down. Last week I said that I miss the temple and I wish I can go home and attend there. Now I wish I am literally home! I’m not trunky, but it feels like I’ve done well enough in my mission. Somehow I don’t feel it anymore, you know what I mean? I feel like I’m done with the service, and it’s not right!
But maybe it’s just normal. I hope it’s just normal. Maybe I really do have a place here in the mission. Maybe I really am useful.
I hope many of the members realize that we full-time missionaries are not robots. We don’t get up at 6:30 in the morning and automatically go out to work. We are humans, too. We have emotions, and often times we suffer from fear and discouragement and rejection. Just as Jesus was sound asleep whilst amidst the troubling waters and roaring thunders at the sea of Galilee, we get dead tired.
And so it is for me. I am tired. Like really tired.
Elder Poblete
Philippines San Pablo Mission
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